The Christmas Caper

a comedy in two acts

by Drew Davis

THE MEAL

HIT THE BACK BUTTON ON YOUR BROWSER TO RETURN TO SCENES LIST

BOBBIE

(BOBBIE unfolds bundle as they sit on concrete blocks)

Would anyone care to say grace?

T J

How can anybody be grateful for this?

CHRIS

I’m grateful, I’m grateful!

BOBBIE

Then you can say grace.

CHRIS

Me?

T J

Yeah, you.

CHRIS

Okay, okay.  I’m starving.

(All but T J bow their heads)

Fast food, fast feet, good God, let’s eat.

BOBBIE

(Slaps CHRIS’s hand away from bread)

No!  That’s not right!  We have to do it right or it doesn’t count.

T J

Look, Bobbie.  What difference does it make?

BOBBIE

It makes a big difference to me.

CHRIS

I’m with T J on this.

T J

Hey, bigmouth, I don’t want you with me just because you’re hungry.

CHRIS

No, I mean it.  What have we got to be thankful for?  We got no homes, no families, no money.

T J

It’s wintertime and we got no heat.

CHRIS

It’s almost Christmas…and we aren’t gonna have no Christmas.

T J

Yeah. No Christmas.

CHRIS

No turkey.

T J

No toys.

CHRIS

No cranberries

T J

No sleigh rides.

CHRIS

No hot chocolate, no roast beef, no…

T J

Would you stop with the food already?

BOBBIE

Is that what Christmas means to you?  If it does, you can go to the children’s home or back to your folks.  I’m sure they’d be glad to give it to you.  Is that what you want?

CHRIS, T J

No.

T J

They’d give it to us alright.  Along with a lot of other things.

BOBBIE

Then that’s what grace is for.  No matter how bad things are, they could be worse.  By saying grace, we show we know that and that there’s still hope for things to get better.

CASEY

I’ll say grace.

T J

You?

BOBBIE

Casey can say grace as well as anyone else.  You go right ahead.

CASEY

(All bow their heads except T J.  CASEY leans toward T J and clears throat with hands on hips.  T J bows)

Thanks for bread, thanks for fries, thanks for food.

(A second of motion as they think CASEY’s finished, then a snap back to bowed heads)

Thanks for Bobbie.  Thanks for Chris.  Thanks for T J.  Thanks for Jerry and Lou.  Thanks for…Thanks for us.

BOBBIE

(Puts arm around CASEY’s waist)

Amen.

CASEY

I did good?

BOBBIE

You did real good.

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